I am passionate about food and cooking, some may say obsessed. I eat alone, and I eat with family and I eat with friends. I am happiest when I cook and eat my own food. Admittedly I have not lived alone for many years, but I have done in the past and there are occasion when I am the only one in the house requiring a meal. I like to experiment with food and create my own recipes, but I also use many recipes from cookery books and magazines. I frequently find myself cooking a new dish which is recommended as a dinner party dish. Well, for a start, to me the recipe looks good enough for a family meal, and also it is a good idea to test out recipes. One important piece of advice I picked up from studying Home Economics ‘A’ Level at school was never to cook a new, complicated recipe for the first time for an important dinner. Much better to have a trial run.
Over the years I have talked to many people who say that they do not cook much because they live on their own. ‘It is not worth cooking just for me.’ ‘Since my divorce I haven’t cooked very much.’ ‘I don’t look forward to entertaining because I am so out of practice.’ I have never quite been able to grasp the concept of not cooking ‘because it is just me.’ Just me! What an outrage! I don’t think that the ‘just me’ sits very well with the modern idea of independence and not necessarily relying on other people for your well-being. After all, people buy houses, do the gardening and pay the bills when it is ‘just me.’ So why not cook? I do think one advantage of eating alone is that one can do slightly odd recipes which others might not want to try!
Of course there are all sorts of arguments including the fact that some food items come in larger packs than is required for one person. This should really only matter if you are considering fresh fruit, vegetables, meat and fish. Dried and canned goods can easily be stored. I do find that even though I am a supermarket shopper, there is numerous choice when it comes to buying loose fruit and vegetables. Meat and fish counters are good for having exact amounts weighed, and even packaged meat and fish is fairly flexible in terms of quantities. There is always the option of the freezer for over-flow.
Many cookery books and magazines are really helpful nowadays with ideas for using up your left-overs, and even recipes devised for making a batch of stew or sauce to be turned into two different recipes. I enjoyed using Delia Smith’s One is Fun in my student days. Save with Jamie although not a cookery book specifically designed for solo dining, does have some great ideas for cooking a joint of meat, chicken or a whole salmon, with several recipe ideas using up the left-overs. They are the kind of recipes that make you want to cook extra to make sure of having left-overs. Scaled down, many of these recipes would work well for one person. In one of Jamie’s other books Jamie’s Dinners he also has a chapter called Family Tree, which takes one base recipe with some different ways of using the base, such as pesto or slow-cooked shoulder of lamb.
I enjoy listening to The Food Programme with Sheila Dillon, and the recent feature of programmes on the theme of How we Eat is really interesting. In fact, it was on hearing the first in the series Eating Alone that I decided to write this article. The theme has been buzzing in my head for years. I really identified with Anna del Conte in her 90s, widowed and still enjoying cooking for herself. I hope that I’ll be still enjoying cooking when I am widowed and in my 90s!
I do think that in my own case it is definitely a matter of upbringing and a reflection of the importance of family meals when I was a child. My mother always cooked proper meals for us, and we always ate together as a family. I grew up in a family of five, with two older brothers . At home, if one of us was late home and not to eat with the rest of the family, a portion would always be set aside to be heated up later. No-one was expected to hunt in the fridge or freezer for food if he or she had not eaten at the usual time. Indeed, hunting in the freezer would probably only unearth ice-cream, bread-crumbs or a piece of frozen lamb! My mother used to buy a whole lamb from the butcher’s and bag it into meal-sized portions. Forty years later, and my freezer is in a similar state. It does not actually contain a jointed lamb, but it certainly does not contain any quick meal options such as pizzas or burgers.
Although it was always my mother who cooked the meals (my father had a few specialities such as omelettes and marmalade), she instilled in all of us a love of home-cooked food. Matthew, my brother, lives on his own and has always loved cooking.
I decided to turn once again to my Archers Appreciation friends and ask them their views. I was particularly interested to hear from people who eat alone and do not cook from scratch, but more importantly, from those whose habits change when they cook for others. In a way, if people live alone and use a lot of take-aways and ready-meals because they have never had the cooking bug, to me that is sad but understandable. However, my aim is not to judge people for their choices and habits but just to make observations.
Here then is a selection of comments from my friends on their eating habits. I find this a fascinating insight into modern life.
Alison Monk – Lived on my own for many years. No money so cooked from scratch. Then had a partner and cooked for us both and really enjoyed it. Now back on my own and sadly do a mix of scratch and ready meals. Hate both as I am not a good cook! Wish I could eat out every night
Sj Mitchell Perfectly happy with good ready meals (like M&S calorie counted ones), occasionally had a whirlwind baking or cooking bash to try new recipes, but find it a huge chore after a day at work. having spent 10+ years in Asia where street food is great and kitchens are tiny, why would I cook if I don’t have to? not my thing!
Jo Morris I live alone and have a mixture of home cooked and ready meals/quick foods. I love cooking but not really just for me, as it takes the pleasure out of it, mainly. I would definitely cook from scratch more if I had someone/people to share it with.
Helen Brace I live alone when the kids aren’t home from school/uni. When possible I batch cook, so I will make 4 potions, eat one and free 3 (we probably eat two given the size of by backside!)
I will often eat nice simple things like smoked salmon, with fresh bread and a salad. I’ve very partial to the mussels in white wine from Lidl, which is a quick indulgence meal. Pasta with anchovies and capers is a good one. And baked potatoes. I also make nice stuff for lunch.
Jane Walker I don’t exactly live alone but when I am alone I cook as if I were cooking for other people and when with other people I cook what I might make if I were cooking just for me. In other words I always cook from fresh ingredients and make fairly simple healthy wholesome stuff. EG if someone gave me a load of celery from their allotment I might make Delia’s celery, apple and tomato soup which is rather complicated and takes over an hour to make, even if just for me, because it is healthy and delicious. I like the way cooking is an activity which punctuates the day. Conversely I hate food shopping. (Jane, I can completely identify with you, although I don’t quite follow the not liking shopping aspect!)
Ian Williams I lived alone for many years. Maybe of interest, both as an active alcoholic and later sober. In the final stages of alcoholism I batch cooked tomato sauce and ate pasta more or less when I wasn’t in an alcoholic coma. Otherwise I always cooked lavishly at about 11pm and enjoyed a proper three course meal around midnight, followed by cheese; two bottles of wine and a bottle of port in earlier times; Badoit and espresso after I’d sorted myself out. Unless I had lunch out, this would typically be my only meal of the day. But I always cooked from scratch with fresh ingredients, and usually in the French style; occasionally I’d do a stir fry and less occasionally a full roast. After I got sober my doctor intimated that it was probably the cream and butter in my French sauces and sticky puddings that saved my life. I’m married now; I still cook a proper meal but usually only a main course and served at around 7pm. ‘Pudding’ these days is usually a White Magnum. (I really appreciate Ian’s honesty. This is particularly fascinating to me, as I have lived with an alcoholic who had little or no interest in food).
Joy Atkins Live alone and eat a mix of ready meals or l batch cook stews, curries, casseroles etc and freeze in portions. Either way l add fresh vegetables to the evening meal. Sandwich lunch.
Hilary Athey I live alone, enjoy cooking and experimenting with cooking from scratch. The nearest I get to ready meals is batch cooking food for the freezer.
I’ll do something really special if I’m entertaining but day to day, I consider that I’m worth making as much effort as I would if not a solo. (Hear, hear! I totally agree with you Hilary!)
Kim Stabler Live alone, but see partner at the weekends. Always cook from scratch (and have lost 7stone in the last 18 months, so cook healthy things). I enjoy cooking so try a lot of new recipes, but usually cook for 2 nights at a time. Eat at the table for breakfast; dinner often but not always in front of the telly. (That is amazing Kim. I wonder if I would put on weight if I ate ready-meals – not that I want to find out!)
Sarah Gough I live alone and have done so for the last 20 years. I’ve moved my eating habits from junk food eaten in hotels and my desk – I had a job where I lived away from home in a hotel. Eating out every night was a no-no so it was burgers or cold food every night sitting in a hotel room. Pity me! I now work from home but loathe cooking with a vengeance, while trying to eat properly. So eat ready prepared veg heated/cooked in the microwave with anything that can be cooked on my George formby (Yes, I know it’s George Forman but I do only use it when I’m cleaning windows) Grill.
Helene Crawford I cook properly but I don’t eat at the same times as when I had a family to cater for. I eat whatever I like whenever I feel like it! Most of my food is one pot stews, curries, soups, dhal, ratatouille etc etc. I love living alone!
Jennifer Ruth Lopez Since my husband died just over two years ago my diet has gone to hell, sometimes, rarely, I cook a proper meal but mostly I don’t, after a lifetime of cooking for others, and being thought of as a good cook I seldom bother, I know this is bad for me, I buy things to cook and then they go off, my meat stays in the freezer. I know about good dietary habits, but somehow can’t make myself bother. If family come to stay I revert to my previous cooking habits.
Sally Hayward I began living alone a year ago after my 20 year marriage ended. I hardly ever cook for myself. I tend to eat salad, cold quorn sausages and lots of beetroot! But always a cold meal. Not sure why I don’t cook a hot meal for myself. Part of the unbearable process of the past year. Guilt, regret and all the swirl of emotions have affected me, and I do wonder whether I feel I don’t ‘deserve’ a proper cooked meal. Interesting!!
Cherry Waters I just can’t be arsed to cook for one. When I was mum in a family of 5 I did about half of the cooking and found it tedious (although I like baking and jam making). Then when all had flown the nest I found I often couldn’t be bothered. Growing my own and keeping chickens meant I have had weeks of broccoli omelettes (on the days I didn’t make do with crisps and chocolate). Now I split my time between looking after my octogenarian parents, and being on my own. When catering for parents I quite enjoy trying out new meal ideas (using Jamie O’s latest), but back home alone I seem to have become a teenager again and just open cupboards eating whatever is to hand. Whenever a chick returns I enjoy going into nurturing mode and making nice meals for them.
Jude Jones When I lived alone my cooking was no different from cooking for two or four just less of it or freeze the left overs. Singles are not sadoes. (Hear hear!)
Lucy Bucknall Late to the party, but keen to contribute.
I left my 11 year marriage 18 months ago and live in a shared house with two foreign PhD students in England. While I was married I lived in France with my. French farmer husband in his farm. He ate a huge amount, hunted fanatically in the season and had a herd of beef cattle. We also had a large veggie garden + bounteous amounts of wild fruit, nuts, mushrooms etc, which he gathered in abundance (figs, plums, apples, peaches, quince…). I cooked a three course meal at lunchtime every day for the entire marriage – even if wasn’t going to be there because of my job. There were often additional mouths to feed, but basically it was just for him. At the weekends in the winter we almost always had a shoot going on at the farm, so I regularly prepared lunch for up to 12 men, and often their wives would pitch up for a meal in the evening. All in all tons of cooking, which I enjoyed, plus jam, chutney making, bagging up meat for the freezer, skinning hare, rabbit, plucking every sort of game bird etc.
I now just cook for myself – bliss – but never ready-meals. I freeze leftovers and sometimes just have porridge if I feel like it. Very occasionally eat with the housemates. Altogether very happy, but miss the wonderful ingredients from the farm! (Very best wishes to Lucy! I must admit that in another life I’d definitely be married to a farmer. Maybe though I am too romantic and have listened to The Archers too long for my own good! I’d be Jennifer or Jill, rather than Ruth!)
Dave Wolfskehl I live alone and cook for many, vegan and for a budget of around £22.00 for stores and five for energy. I grow, scavenge, and forage from the wild for veggies and buy in flour, pulses, some fruit, nut milk and coffee. (the oil, flour, pulses, pasta I purchase in bulk every four months) If I lived with others nothing much would change, except maybe I would do less washing up.
Although I have not been able to include all of the interesting feedback I had from my friends, I am pleased that from my straw poll very few people who are not motivated to cook when they are alone. Out of 108 comments from my friends, about 75% of people definitely think it is worth cooking good food if they are alone. This is only a rough figure, as some of the feedback was mixed; some people had not fully made their minds up!
Thanks to my friends for all their contributions; this is far from a scientific study, but interesting nevertheless. Another cookery writer recommendation for lone eaters is Nigel Slater. Many of his recipes are simple and quick, and he often gives quantities for 2 people, which does make scaling recipes down much easier. The 30 Minute Cook is particularly good for finding easy-to-cook recipes which use fresh ingredients.