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This very attractive blackboard notice was the one source of useful information in our holiday apartment in Sardinia. We were impressed that it was written in English, given that our host’s mother, who was local and available to help us out with any issues, spoke very little English.

It was indeed remarkable that there were so many refuse collections during the week. Only problem was, someone had to remember to take the relevant bag to the collection point on the road the night before. Waiting until the morning would usually mean that we had missed the boat! At home in the UK we don’t have to put out our bins, as we are able to leave them in a spot from which the bin men can collect and return them.

Putting out the rubbish is never a popular task, so it became a bit of a game! ‘Who fancies putting out the organic and glass tonight?!’ (don’t all shout at once!) Organic is not a great one to miss, as you don’t want rotting peelings and scrapings from the dinner plates festering for too long. How convenient that they collected this cateogory of rubbish three times a week!

Paul had this clever idea that the blackboard could double up as suggestions for Wedding Anniversary gifts! After all, for the 1st Wedding Anniversary, paper gifts are quite traditional (we have a paper category on our blackboard) , for the 2nd Anniversary, fruit and flowers are suggested (trash category?) and then there is crystal or glass for the 3rd year (empty wine bottles only on Mondays for some reason).

Are we the only people to have these ridiculous flights of fantasy?

We are staying in a small but very modern and clean apartment in Lu Bagnu in Sardinia. This year I found the property through Airbnb, rather than the usual Owners Direct. I had to make some compromises, as property was more difficult to find at a reasonable price than on the mainland. I suspect too that there are more apartments than villas, and so we have had to go with some shared facilities, including the pool. I do love my swimming, and prefer a private pool. This time I could not find anything suitable, and, before we arrived, I had no idea how many apartments we would be sharing the pool with. No matter, we are also a short walk from the beach, and I do love sea swimming.
Anyway, back to the apartment itself. It is basically a kitchen/lounge/dining room with a separate bedroom and a shower room. This in itself will be a challenge, as my daughter Jess will be arriving for the second week of our holiday here, and so we’ll have to get out the sofa bed. There is nowhere for her to store her clothes and other belongings – could be interesting!

What is it about the Italians and kitchen equipment, in particular, sharp knives for cooking?! Five years ago in our villa in Tuscany I wrote a blog piece about the lack of sharp knives and the fact that I was given short shrift when I enquired if some could be supplied! I thought that the average Italian loved cooking and would demand the best equipment! Admittedly our host in Sardinia is a businessman who does not spend much time on the island. He has been very helpful and relaxed, and assured us that his mother would be here to meet us. We were also advised to let them know if anything at all was lacking in the apartment.

First problem is that my Italian is almost non-existent, Paul’s is limited and Mrs Alberto’s is practically non-existent! (I still have not found out her name! We do not even know Alberto’s surname). Well, I could write a long list of what I could do with in the kitchen, but that would seem rude and not my style at all. For me the bare necessities lacking were sharp knives and wine glasses. There is a picture in this piece of the steak knife I tried to use (miraculously not slicing off any fingers in the process, as it slipped) for chopping vegetables, and of the carrots consequently very badly cut.

I duly rang Alberto, who expressed surprise that I had not asked his ‘mom’ for help. I then explained about the language barrier, and he became much more relaxed and willing to help. I have to say again though that I only asked for knives and wine glasses, not pointing out, in typical British fashion, that the corkscrew was also inadequate! The next day, he e-mailed me to say that his mother would be calling by with some new equipment, and that he did not want her to leave it outside the door as it was all very expensive. Oh goody I thought! Lovely Sabatier chef’s knives!

I opened the door on Monday morning to find a whole pile of equipment in boxes outside the door, and Mrs Alberto soon appeared to show off the shiny, new purchases. What had arrived then? A big box of saucepans, a cruet set, two salad bowls, two packs of glasses, both tumblers and wine types, a new set of cutlery, salad servers, a kitchen roll holder and an iron and ironing board! (no cuddly toy!) The ironing board did come in useful, as you will read in a later blog post! Where were the knives? Confusion arose, as Mrs A was extremely crest-fallen that I seemed to be disappointed. Luckily I know how to say thank-you in Italian, indeed I can say ‘Grazie Mille’ (many thanks). She then resorted to google translate on her phone to try to find out what we needed. We had to pass the phone back and forth between us, as we could not get any wifi on our phones! I was somewhat aghast when she wrote on the screen ‘tutto quello che mi hai dato è spazzatura completa’ (everything you have given me is complete rubbish), indicating that this is what I was trying to convey to her. ‘No, no’ I said. I then had the phrase, ‘I just need some sharp knives for chopping meat and vegetables’ translated into Italian: ‘Ho solo bisogno di alcuni coltelli affilati per tagliare carne e verdure’ (in case you ever need that phrase!) She showed me the steak knives in the drawer, and we told her that they were no good. Does this Italian lady cook anything at all, or has she bucked the trend? I decided to use body language to indicate a preference for small, medium and large.
One consequence of having to wait for the knives was that we ended up with an extremely stale loaf of bread, as we could neither tear it with our hands nor cut it with an eating knife! No matter, I am a dab hand at making delicious food out of stale bread.

The positive end to the story is that later that day Mrs A brought some brand new knives for me, and all is well. However, the wifi is still pathetic, and I have a long list to make of other equipment that Alberto needs to buy for his apartment (a can opener for instance would please many visitors!) I get the feeling that he is quite new to this business.
If you read the link to my review of his property on Trip Adviser which I shall be writing later on, you will understand that this is a good property and very pleasant, as well as being in a great location.

I passed ‘O’ Level Spanish at school, and then never visited Spain, so really lost it all. In recent years Paul and I have been visiting Spain on a regular basis, and keep trying to learn the language. It is just so difficult to remember anything. French was so easy to learn when I was at school, and I then did my degree and visited France a lot as a child and teenager. My brain is just not as fresh as it used to be.

We are both fine with restaurant menus and the basics of saying hello, good morning, good-bye and so on. Well, the menus are fine if they are in Castillian, rather than Basque, Catalan or Galician! Names for meat and fish varieties are always an interesting challenge in foreign languages. Yesterday we were having a set menu lunch in Bermeo, and I  took out our Eyewitness Guide to Northern Spain to check the useful glossary of words provided. There is a survival guide for eating in a restaurant, and I quickly scanned it for useful words. The last word in the list was ‘Muy hecho’ which translates as ‘well done.’ I said to Paul “that’s a bit patronising isn’t it?! To say well done to the waitress for bringing your meal to the table!” He thought I was trying to be funny, which of course I was not! However, I then noticed that the words above ‘muy hecho’ were ‘poco hecho’ and ‘medio hecho’ which of course mean ‘rare’ and ‘medium.’ So ‘muy hecho’ was the word I would not use for ordering my steak! (as I prefer mine poco hecho!)

Anyone who knows me well will be familiar with my ability to laugh at my own jokes and idiocies and the accompanying fit of the giggles which can last for quite a long time after the joke has passed! I have even been known to wake up in the night laughing at a joke I made hours beforehand!

You can be sure that ‘muy hecho’ is our new family phrase when you just need to say to someone ‘well done you!’